Psychologist Victor Ponomarenko Biography

Victor Ponomarenko: "Rights are not born!" Home cycle of films in the genre of documentary drama "Understand. Forgive ”is based on real events-sometimes dramatic, sometimes the most domestic, but it can be difficult to understand them without the help of a professional-psychologist. One of the project consultants is a practicing psychologist, teacher, author of books on psychology Viktor Ponomarenko.

Forgive " - how do you understand the meaning of the name for yourself? I focus on the word "understand". The main thing in the work of a psychologist is to determine the true source of the problem that a person has encountered. Why is it important? Many people tend to connect their troubles with the fact that, in fact, does not have significant significance. For example, with the that had spoiled, supposedly, the character or bad upbringing of his partner, with the transitional “dangerous” age of the child, etc.

As a result, the problem is not really recognized, and relations come to a dead end. Alas, television also contributes to such errors, sometimes spreading false quasi-psychological stereotypes. In the program, we fundamentally refuse to simplify the situations under discussion and try to “look into the root” of what is happening. We urge you to judge not a person, but an act.

Home shot from the program "Understand. For forgive "are there universal recipes that need to be followed in difficult situations? There are probably no general recipes for everyone. But people tend to make typical mistakes. In this case, “typical” means repeating in similar situations. Of course, there will always be a variety of details, unique nuances. But fundamental mistakes, I repeat, are typical.

Say, the flight from the traumatic situation is typical. The husband began to apply to the bottle, the mother -in -law does not give his son his wife - what many do in such cases? And what? Serve for divorce, convinced the spouse to leave his mother to hell. Isn't this a flight? What if the doctor, without making a diagnosis of the patient, ran out of the ward, tearing off his medical robe, quit his job and left for another city, leaving the patient to die?

This is the same as throwing a spouse or mother -in -law to the mercy of fate, and try to start a new life, but without them. But let me! Just do not argue! This is really the same. Worse, the patient left by the doctor is an outsider to him. And the husband, wife, mother -in -law, child are the closest people in the world. Well, if you couldn’t, you didn’t want to! And we say to the audience: think, my husband washed down due to serious troubles at work, which he is embarrassed to tell, and the mother-in-law is more afraid to remain alone in the world.

How do you like this turn of the topic? Maybe it will be more correct not to run away from a complex partner, with a curse on the lips, but to stop and try to help him? Perhaps this is a universal recipe. You can’t behave in life as a displeased client in a restaurant: I want it, but I don’t want it. We are not customers, we are a cook. What they yourself have prepared, then you will have to eat.

Smiles at home did not think about it from this point of view ... That is, such psychological projects on television are needed? They are necessary. We are all people living among people. And they are obliged to be able to build relationships in such a way as not to cause harm, even involuntarily, but to help each other. This is an integral part of the culture of behavior.

And it’s good when, with typical examples, a professional psychologist explains what is good in this life and what is bad. Forgive " - an honest program. And this is her main dignity. We are not afraid to tell the truth, sometimes bitter, do not hesitate to work with heroes on mistakes. We struggle, as much as possible, with the brooded myths of O supposedly insurmountable obstacles on the path to human happiness.

I recommend watching the program to everyone who is relevant for the relations of adults. Can a program harm someone? I hope that nobody. After all, we - the creators of the program - strive to help, and not disgusting, down, we consider the imperfections of our heroes. We are not from above. We are nearby. I have only one call to the audience: “Before condemning someone, and even more so-act, think about the reasons for actions that you did not like.

Do not chop off your shoulder. Understand what is happening. Scoundrels are not born. And at the heart of the most disgusting matters are fear and helplessness. ” Agree, there is something to reflect on. Do you take part in writing a program or commenting on the already written? From the very beginning, we agreed with the creators of the program that in the plot a story, history - approx.

This is very similar to my psychological consultations outside of television. I do not tell my principals I do not like the words “clients”, which to tell them, what to complain about, how - at the initial stage - interpret what happened. Smiles but everything that I say in every series is only my professional position. I am in the profession for forty years, believe me, I have something to say.

So, I am not an actor, I am a psychologist. By the way, only in this program in the credits it is indicated by a genuine name and surname. And that means that I will say, the question of my reputation outside the television studio is already.You can be seen on TV not only on the domashny, where you communicate with real people in the studio. Is it possible to really help a person in a short time of a television program?

I think you can. Otherwise, I would not have taken it for it. I will say more: if you are not able to help a person in five minutes, then you are unlikely to help him in a longer time. I emphasize that I am now talking about an approach that I profess all my professional life is “rational therapy”. It is based, again, a correctly made psychological diagnosis. What kind of personality is in front of you?

What are its individual characteristics? What is happening in general? Who, to whom and what exactly interferes with living? Before you see a face in the studio with the hero, I carefully study the facts of his biography, his vision of the problem and other materials collected by the editors. I already have several hypotheses at this preliminary stage - answers to the questions posed above.

The conversation in the studio, under the television cameras, allows you to choose the final version of the answer. And voice him. Sometimes the editors of the programs are asked to conduct an experiment on the air - for entertainment and clarity. I strive for experiments working for the main task - establishing truth. My teachers repeated to me: "Never say something that is not sure of, and that you can’t justify." I carefully do it.

Follow or not follow my tips - the choice of everyone. But I am comforted by the fact that I give a person a chance to truly realize what is happening to him and what prevents him from being happy. Do you work with the hero behind the scenes? Working behind the scenes with the hero of the program is not in my rules, only in absentia. In the frame, it is necessary to talk in detail about everything that matters, or even refuse to participate in the program.

No one is none. If any important details are missed, it will be impossible to understand on what basis the conclusions were drawn. The viewer will have the feeling that he was deceived, that he was not trusted.